Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
