even my farts smell like vagina
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize