you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
