best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
