i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
