There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
