new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
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