worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
