we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
