11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
