I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
