Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
