I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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