Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
i've created a new STD.
I just had sex on a roof
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
