Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.

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(214): View more from Texas

He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.

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(970): View more from Colorado

3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.

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(561): View more from Florida

It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...

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(406): View more from Montana

I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.

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(661): View more from California

I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now

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(919): View more from North Carolina

We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.

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