I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
now i know why i became what i already was.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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