I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
