R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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