is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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