Got a toothbrush?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
