You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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