youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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