Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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