he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
