Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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