Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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