It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
