My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
