She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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