Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
