You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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