my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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