I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
