Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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