I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
