We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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