I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
