My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
