my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
