Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
