butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
