she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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