Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
