please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
