New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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