she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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