that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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