i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I intend to get homeless drunk
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
