I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She even gives head with a lisp.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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