he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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