I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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