she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
May the power of my ass compel you!!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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