I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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