this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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