if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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