I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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