I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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