This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
