All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize