i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
