Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
