I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
