At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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