Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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