So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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