I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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